Physical Graffiti

“COMPETITIVE SALARY”

We remain competitive by paying  our employee’s less than our competitors pay their employee’s.

“JOIN OUR FAST PACED TEAM”

You have to work fast because we have no time to train you.

“CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE”

We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up just to come to work.

“MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED”

You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

“DUTIES WILL VARY”

Anyone in the office can and will boss you around.

“MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAILS”

We have no quality control.

“APPLY IN PERSON”

If you’re old, fat, or ugly, you will be told that the position has already been filled.

“SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE”

You’ll need it to replace the three people that we just fired.

“PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS A MUST”

You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

“REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS”

You’ll have all of the responsibilities of a manager, but without the pay or respect.